One Time
Warrior

This movie madhead used to spend most of his days with the curtains drawn, working his way through cult VHS classics. It all got a bit much during his ‘70s NYC’ phase though — he found himself walking the mean streets of Breightmet with a baseball bat, causing a right old ruck. A life of crime can be flash and exotic, but sooner or later you need to put down the ‘Glock 9’ and get on the straight and narrow. 

As a means of reform, One Time Warrior now coaches a primary school rounders team. When his old mates call: “Warrior, come out to plaaaay-ay”, his sulky response is: “Can’t — sports day tomorrow”.