Published by Oi Polloi of Cottonopolis


The Fear


Suffering from paranoid delusions relating to members of the animal kingdom, The Fear Hunter brings a more literal meaning to the term ‘pet hate’. While it’s best to keep out of his way, take him up on that offer of a brew and he’ll spend the whole time staring at the fish tank in the corner of his flat muttering “You talking to me? Well, I’m the only one here”.

The other day he was clocked walking through Heaton Park, whispering the words: “One shot is what it’s all about. A deer’s gotta be taken with one shot” and: “Look out, there’s a sarcastic wood pigeon, he’s laughing at your haircut. Slot him”.

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