Published by Oi Polloi of Cottonopolis


Don’t Eat The


Illustration by Rosie Toole

Illustration by Rosie Toole

Morning Frank, we’re going to cut straight to the questions here. How would you describe your style in one word?

There are five acceptable words: baby, love, tears, yat yat. Just because I don’t deal in those terms doesn’t mean I’m weird. So tell these people: I ain’t weird; I’m rational.

What’s your favourite item of clothing in your wardrobe?

The bassoon is one of my favourite instruments. It has the medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball... I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.

What? Think you misheard us there Frank, anyway, what are your thoughts on the socks and sandals debate?

I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.

What’s the most useful piece of style advice you’ve received?

A wise man once said, "Never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment."

What do you think Autumn/Winter has in store for us, style wise?

It’s been proven over and over again that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, but most people don’t like to look at naked emperors. In the process of turning around to avert their eyes, they saw the discotheques and a few other things and latched onto them.

The worlds of menswear and home-ware are becoming increasingly entwined, how does your home reflect your eclectic style?

Tobacco is my favourite vegetable.

Fair enough, cheers Frank.

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