Published by Oi Polloi of Cottonopolis


Smells Like

Illustration by Rosie Toole

Illustration by Rosie Toole

Alright Kurt, we know you’ve been away for a while, so what has been your reaction to the ‘heritage’ boom we’ve seen in the last few years?

They’re poser, wannabe rednecks, but they just don’t have the twang. The first thing that started freaking me out was playing shows and seeing sort of bi-level redneck logger guys in the front row.

It seems like it’s something you feel quite strongly about.

I don’t mean to complain as much as I do, but it's a load of shit. It’s really stupid. It makes me question the point of it all. I'm only gonna bitch about it for another year and, if I can't handle it after that, we're gonna have to make some drastic changes.

How would you describe your style?

Bay City Rollers after an assault by Black Sabbath.

What outside factors inform your style?

I won’t eat anything green.

So you mean you don’t wear anything green either? 

We don’t have much patience with journalists who don’t bother to look into the archives of our history.

Sorry Kurt, we’re trying here, you’ve been dead for 18 years so this interview was never going to be easy. Anyway, have you got any style tips for the new season?

Wearing a dress shows I can be as feminine as I want.

Interesting. It seems classic surf style is becoming a key trend. What are your thoughts on this?

I wouldn’t wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia.

Fair comment, anyway we’ve got to wrap this up now, so before we go, what are your plans for the future?

I'll just retire to Mexico or Yugoslavia with a few hundred dollars, grow potatoes, and learn the history of rock through back issues of Creem magazine.

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