Published by Oi Polloi of Cottonopolis



Illustration by Rosie Toole

Illustration by Rosie Toole


First things first, what’s been going on lately?

I lost my one true love. I started drinking. The first thing I know, I'm in a card game. Then I'm in a crap game. I wake up in a pool hall. Then this big Mexican lady drags me off the table, takes me to Philadelphia. She leaves me alone in her house, and it burns down. I wind up in Phoenix. I get a job as a Chinaman. I start working in a…

Alright Bob, sorry to halt your rambling but we haven’t got long here. What are you wearing today? 

A poem is a naked person... Some people say that I am a poet.

That makes sense I suppose, what are you citing as ‘key looks’ for the up-coming season?

How could I answer that, if you’ve got the nerve to ask me? I mean, you’ve got a lot of nerve to ask me a question like that! Do you ask the Beatles that?

Well we did do yeah, but John wasn’t replying to our E-mails, anyway, let’s move this on; did you read the last Pica~Post?

I mean sure I can read it, you know, I read it, I get it on the airplanes but I don’t take it seriously. If I want to find out anything, I’m not gunna read Pica~Post, I’m not gunna read any of these magazines, I mean ‘cause they just got too much to lose by printing the truth. You know that.

We’re not really following you anymore to be honest Bob, what do you mean by the truth?

Really the truth is just a plain picture. A plain picture of, of, let’s say a tramp vomiting into the sewer you know? And then and uh, next door to the picture you know, is Mr Rockefeller or you know, Mr C.W. Jones on a subway going to work, uh you know, any kind of picture.

You’re maybe taking this a bit seriously, we’re just a clothes shop, just trying to get by, like anyone else.

All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die.

Well that’s a bit of a grim way of putting it. Anyway, let’s move the conversation back to menswear. There’s been definite word in the blogosphere that we’re going to see a return to bolder prints and designs after the relatively toned down, ‘less is more’ designs of the last few years, what are your thoughts of this, not only as a performer, but also as a wearer of clothing?

Bullshit. Oh, such bullshit. I know the fellow that said that. He used to come around here and get beat up all the time. He better watch it; some people are after him. They're going to strip him naked and stick him in Times Square. They're going to tie him up, and also put a thermometer in his mouth.

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