His eyes opened to yet another scene. This was a new one — one he didn’t recognize from films or picture books. He wasn’t in space, but he was in some sort of space. There was no horizon and no anything, just a wide, endless stretch of nothing in particular.
So this must be the future. He tried to pretend to himself that he wasn’t, but deep down he was pretty disappointed. The year 2014 had been a bit of a let-down, but nothing like this. Where were the hover-cars? Where were the cyborgs? And where was the electronic music?
Then he heard a voice. It was a voice just like how you’d expect a voice in a weird silver future zone to sound like — important, deep and knowledgeable.
“I suppose you’re wondering what happened,” boomed the voice. Before he had a chance to reply, the voice cut back in. “It started many years ago. A machine was made — they called it a 3D printer. First it printed trivial things… chocolate rabbits, quirky necklaces and figures to be used in slightly bizarre menswear photo-shoots, but it got out of hand. If a printer can print a rabbit out of chocolate, why can’t it make a gun? Or a bomb? Or another 3D printer?”
That printer printed ten more printers, those ten printers printing a hundred printers… I could go on, but you get the idea, there was loads of them. With the old world overrun with 3D printers there was only one option — print a new universe and start again. And that’s where you are now, the new universe, the Newniverse. It may be a bit drab, but we’re hoping that after another of those big bang things then something might happen.”
He had no idea what was going on, but he did know he was once again in the wrong era. And with that startling revelation, our man was transported back to the year 2014.
“What was all that?” He wondered. “Who was that voice? Why was I travelling through time? Why did my clothes keep changing?” Nothing was answered and, just like before, he felt a bit disappointed. Compared to time travel he’d seen in films, it had all been a bit crap really. He went to bed with a headache.
The moral of the story? The past wasn’t great, the present isn’t amazing and the future will be overrun with fancy printers — deal with it.